un-understandable

2008-02-23T16:28:00.002+08:00

i'm dead..
i'm confused..
i'm like a screw..
you go round and round till u hit the end..
and try to make it tighter..
and still u're at the same spot..

i lack freedom..
i lack style..
i lack brains and brawns(if its spelt correctly..)

why does my life have to be this way..?
i live a lonely life..
staying alot at home means lesser time with friends..
no time for GF for which i dun have cause i dun have time to court one..
i'm frustrated everytime my plan to go out with someone, fails..
i hope those people understand my situation..

i need my space..
i need time for myself..
i'm 20 this year..
i'm getting older each year..
sampai bile la malik ni mcm..

anyways, brush that aside, i think i'm liking someone..
its only 2 times she called me..
but i still miss the voice..
i hope she calls again later..or tmr..
i'll continue hoping..

2007-11-04T13:20:00.000+08:00

another work of my brain..
if u can understand, u'd know hw i feel..

hatiku hancur mengenang dikau,
berkeping-keping jadinya.
kini air mata jatuh bercucuran,
tiada lagi harapan.

tiada seindah waktu itu,
dunia berseri-seri.
malam bagai siang seterang hatimu,
penuh harapan padamu.

kini hancur berderai,
kesedihan berantai,
kuncup dihatiku,
yang lama ku simpan,
kini hancur sebelum berkembang.

mengapa ini harus terjadi,
ditengah kebahagian.
ingin ku rasakan,
lebih lama lagi,
hidup bersama denganmu.

i'm not hoping for anything..
just wishing that everything is gona be okay..
off to cleaning up the house! tata..!

the heart opens...

2007-09-30T13:09:00.000+08:00

Hai cinta
Dengarkanlah.. Aku ingin bicara..
Tentang aku dan kamu..
Tentang cintaku padamu

Aku memang laki laki..yang pernah mencintai
seribu Wanita dan misterinya..
tapi sekarang begitu berbeda
Denganmu aku merasakan cinta yang lain

-chorus-
Bersamamu.. Kurasakan Cinta..
Bersamamu.. Kumerasa Rindu..
Bersamamu.. Ku Bisa Jatuh Hati..
Bersamamu.. Kurasakan Sesuatu
Yang Tak Pernah Kurasakan... Sebelumnya...

Ini hanya teriakan perasaanku..
Tentang perasaanku Kepada dirimu
Yang semakin hari, Semakin menjadi jadi

Hatiku sudah memilih
Kamu menjadi separuh nafasku dan
Separuh jiwaku.. kamu menjadi bahagian hidupku..

repeat chorus

nice song huh..? guess who sang..=)

2007-09-24T20:41:00.000+08:00

i just felt disappointed..
when the moment i thought i can try to move on,
it just failed..
why..?
coz she's tired..
what a reason..
insyallah ada hikmah di sebalik ini semua..

anyways, i've been having a strain in my butt..
wahahah..x-ray done..
doc thought it was a tailbone fracture..
the moment i heard that, my heart fell..
that could mean the end of playing soccer..
dad spoke to me to stop playing soccer..
but i'm just too stubborn..
went training just now..
sure my butt was painful..
but i hung on..=)
pain still pain but tahan ler..
wana chase for the No.1 spot..
although i've been wearing no.1 jersey..haha..

okey hopefully i'm gona be okay sooner later..
hopefully there wont be anymore injuries..

-broken inside..
-life hafta move on but it seems like i cant..
-i thought i saw a perfect gem but the other miner got his hands on it first..

=)

2007-09-14T01:34:00.000+08:00

Jika itu memang terbaik, untuk dirimu
Walau berat untukku, berpisah denganmu
Hapus sudah air matamu, aku mengerti
Ini bukan mauku, ini bukan inginku

whoaa what a chorus part..=)
cheers..

the end..

2007-09-12T03:39:00.003+08:00

i lost the other post so let this be the short and important few points..

-praying that she'll be happy with him..
-will also pray for her wellness and success in A lvls..
-if this guy breaks her heart, i'll break his leg..
-off to some spacing out..
-hope i'm still her listening ear..
-a better stronger more stern me nxt time..

so if i bark at you, u better listen and shut up..
i might have something good to hear..
i wont bark much la..
i'm soft..
i'd rather listen than speak..
so if i'm too quiet, doesnt mean i'm emo-ing..

goodbye for now..
till we meet again some other time..

-somethings are never noticed until the brink of extinction..
-wana hold on but i must let go..

some things..

2007-09-05T23:25:00.000+08:00

some things are better not said..
i dun wana say those phrases..
but i guess pressure is applied and said is what my heart..
so what the shit i did..?
find out urself..

worked my ass out again juz nw..
am freaking tired,
i'm not able to slp lately..
eyes are sleepy but my brain and heart is rapid..
other than working my ass out,
been playing soccer..
did some gym session ytd..
wana go summore tmr after work..
building a bigger toner me..
my motivational fuel: confusion, anger and elfi..
confusion of myself..
angry at myself..
and elfi pushes me sometimes..
and i have a pain in my ass..
literally...!

alrighty then, stop sign is already up in my heart..
road users know what it means..
stop sign that is..
been always gentleman to girls..
and been a soft person i guess..?
what's the use anyways..?
i wonder sometimes..

alright, i need to slp although i know i cant..=(
gd night and gdbye to all my feelings whatsoever..

was it me all along..?

2007-09-05T01:15:00.000+08:00

i just wana know..
just wana find out..
but still i wont be able to know..
from the way its said,
i think all along its me..
hw dumb..

end of story..

so played soccer juz nw,
dominated jurong east st soccer..
no soccer tmr..
working my ass off tmr till 5..
money here i need..!!
wana buy bike la..!
no other things to spend on..
no reason for me to spend..

end of entry..
baii..

psst2..

2007-09-04T00:35:00.000+08:00

so what's gona happen..?
when it rains and u have nowhere to go..?
walk ard IMM with a friend laa..!
should thank missy ain for temaning me..
although she's tired from the attachment thingy,
sempat plak die teman si malik mkn..

anyhoos, still in the dark..duno what i should do..
someone shed light for me..
well i know that i can be there for someone..
i'm always there for her when she needs me..
i'm still her friend..
well she said i aint her close friend so i'm just a friend..=)
i hope in the future i can still be there for her when she needs most..
everytime i speak/sms, i'd put away my jealousy..
i'd put her feelings as priority first rather than mine..
tried liking other girls..
but i can never click with them..
almost accidently fell in love with this girl..
but i dun like the part where she smokes..
and she wants every attention that i can give..
irritates me..
c'mon i have my life..
anyhoos, i know my life is gona be better..
i just hafta try to forget this special someone bit by bit..
lagu gerhana ska cinta - terpesona is nice..hooked to it..
another song..eng song..very nice..
4got the title..when i know i tell..

its getting long...
time for me to workout tmr...!
wana build a better me..
who knows i can attract more girls..wahaha..
wont happen i know..
the reasons:- i aint attractive..
- who would want a skinny person..?
- i hide my feelings..
- stress..? mabe not ar..wahaha..

ok enough..time to slp..nitez..!

been long..

2007-08-30T21:48:00.000+08:00

whoaa been a long time since i last blogged..
loadsa things happened..
i wonder if anyone find interest to read this blog even..
if u do, do tag me okie..?
a request from me.. pleaase

so what's been happening so far..?
firstly, my mum passed away on 18th july at 1330hrs..
its been a setback for my whole family..
but to think of it, its a good thing mum dun hafta suffer more..
okie secondly, i've been having problems with myself..
been having diarrhoea lately..
but hopefully i'll be okay..=)
nw thirdly..
i duno if i should continue having friends..
i mean, sch friends for sure i will have..
but close friends..? i reali question myself..
isit me or them..?
isit cause i cant always go out till late night that i'm not asked out..?
isit cause they dun like me no more..? i'm confused..
talking bout confusion, i'm more confused bout being in a relationship..
i'm sure bout my feelings..
but does she feel the same feelings i have for her..?
been mixing around with other girls..
but i just cant seem to find another better than her..
i duno what's the reason but i just can never forget her..
Allah knows hw much i miss this girl..
He knows hw much i feel for this girl..
He knows what i'm feeling bout her..truely..
and yah she doesnt know i like her..
its been friendship all along..
one minute i think she likes me and i wana tell her i like her,
another minute, i know she likes another..
hopefully she'll be happy with another..=)

ya Allah, tolonglah aku ini..
kasilah kawan aku ini kebahagiaan yg dia mahu..
berikanlah dia fikiran yg jelas..
janganlah bingungkan fikirannya lagi..

anyways, i'm doing fine..
hee..! happy go lucky..!
my potential of being a leader as said by sharon,
i guess its going down the drain..?
wasted potential kot.. haha..
bad stuff happen at the wrong time..
neways, things happen for a reason..
insyAllah for a good reason..=)

thx for reading this entry yeah guys..!
really appreciated it..=)

what a sad day

2007-07-07T01:40:00.000+08:00

this may sound freakish but i hafta give up my passion..
i'm not gonna play soccer anymore..
i'm gonna officially quit playing soccer..
if anyone of u see me playing soccer, please knock me out..
i'm ready to give it up already..
its unlike me to do so, but i gotta let it go..
SADLY..

anyhoos, things juz got worse..
i'm gonna lost the one i love most..
to those people who knows, they are the close ones..
its good that they know ler..
i dun wanna say anything..
i'm just too shocked with this drastic event..

sayonara soccer and friends for now..
i'm gonna keep to myself most of the time..
u guys know where to find me..

byee..

NSSL

2007-06-12T01:46:00.000+08:00

wow..! i'm soo proud of SIAL-LAH..
seriously.. 1st match was awesome..
2nd match was cocked up but still quite okay..
3rd one, we kept our cool..!
when we're suppose to go haywire when we're hot..
looks like things have changed alot after 2 years..

first time join NSSL, Team BK..
everyone lost their heads when we're up against rough teams..
2nd time join, sial-lah..
we're the entertainers of the court..
we aint flashy though.. only thing is we are very noisy..!
every move we made, sial lah..
pass, sial lah..
score sial lah..
we even have some opponents who don't wanna meet us..
i guess we're their bad luck huh..
its sad though we lost the 3rd match..
1st match was a fiery 6-0..
2nd match 3-2..
3rd drew 1-1..lost thru penalties.. damnn
at least we're better than hafiz's team..
10 goals in total..! conceeded only 3..
they couldnt even score..guess they're having some kinda jinx..
who cares.. we talk thru actions..nt only words..
we've proven time and time again we're better than them..!
cheers for sial lah..
nxt name, screw the jokers..=) or mabe "not funny"..

bummer..life's a bummer..
how i wish there was holidays..at least i can go out and enjoy for a while..or mabe work..
nw i wanna collect money so that i can fetch myself a bike..
preferably RX-Z.. cause..its cheap..hee..

nxt mth TP.. wish me luck! wee..!

stupid

2007-06-05T23:21:00.000+08:00

how can i be sooo stupid..?
to tell feelings bout somebody online...
that aint nice..
that aint proper..

anyhoos, da lepas da..
lets just hope things will be better..

some random funny lyrics..

malu aku malu..
makan semut merah..

nyahaha.. indonesian song..
kerazy.. funny stuff.. haha..!

NSSL coming up..!
sunday matches that is..
played soccer juz nw, i suck as hell..
mabe coz i overused my muscles.. hee..
trying to build myself up u see..
hopefully will recover by sunday..
so anyone wanna support? hee..
come down uh to bukit batok street soccer court..
near west mall.. sunday's the match..
so if want come, just come.. no harm..

adios muchachos..nachos anyone..? =)

apology

2007-05-27T00:40:00.000+08:00

i wanna say something..
i wanna apologise..
to anyone, esp elias..
what for u might ask..?
cause i didnt turn up for soccer for darussalam mosque..
i have my reasons bro...
just do understand the situation i was at..
i'm sorry u hadta hear my dad screaming at yah..
i really feel ashamed..
to anyone else affected, i'm really am sorry..
i didnt mean to..

*screwed up me..
*facing soo many probs at one go sux

never did..

2007-05-14T22:48:00.000+08:00

wow..!
i never did this b4..
but i did it over the phone..!
and she's the first person whom i sang on the phone for..
whoever eats the sugar will feel the rush...
or in a better manner, whoever eats the sambal will feel the pedas..
but this one not a bad thing..
its a good one i guess..

had a tiff with this freshmen soccer guy..
freaking stepped on my leg twice..
stood up, felt like kick him in the face..
confronted him instead..
dun wanna cause any stupid complications..
like getting banned or smth..
in the end he shaked my hand and said sorry..
chett.. rubbish..

i'm in for a tough competition for GK..
good goalkeeper i must be..
first choice i must fight fight fight..!
musnt show my weakness..(everything..)
wahaha..!

tt's all aight.. cin ciao..

peace

2007-05-06T21:41:00.000+08:00

hmm lets update after soo long..
so what have i been doing..?
detecting lightnings..
analyzing lightnings..
soon to come, get struck by lightning..
the feeling's so low, feel like playing more soccer to spice up my life..
but heck, family first..
project second..
sch soccer 3rd..
i wanna learn how to cook..!!
pucuk ubi please mum teach me how to cook that..
can you believe this, malik karaoke..
never happened but it did la last friday..
kinda enjoyed it..
indonesian voice..? duno laa..
bass voice probably..

been making loadsa friends..
as for close friends, i duno what to say uh..
i shant be boyfriendish whatever its called..
i shall be me..
say i'm rough but its just me..
bear with it.. dun wanna be friends, its ok..
i'm sure i'm still gonna tegur and still be friends with whoever or whatever i know..
no good being sombong..
maybe there are some people in my sch who knows me for the wrong reasons..
who cares..life goes on...

seen something today..broken arm...
just imagine and u'll get freaky about it..

klah, nth more..ciao..shall update when i have the time..
do tag if u come to this blog..being mysterious isnt good to anyone..

welcome back..

2007-04-08T19:23:00.000+08:00

its been a month since i last made an entry..
life gone up and down..
and thank god march is not as bad as expected..
she's getting better now..
growing her hair already..
sadly she has very low stamina..
cant walk around much..
still i'm there for her..
am i too harsh to her sometimes i wonder..
remind her that she needs medicine la,
loadsa rest laa,
dun walk too fast laa,
i did this all cause i love her..
maybe my way was a lil harsh..woops..
a lil softer me..
she's sick..!!

ok lets move on..
what have i been doing for 1 mth sooo busy that i cant make an entry..?
went for loadsa bike practical..
went to grandma's hse ALOT!
busy at sch and with sch work..
heck, alot of things to do..!
assignment proposal all havent do..
and its due in 2 days time..
lets get back to work..!

been making loadsa friends...
no harm right make loadsa friends..
be it girl or guy, gender doesnt define friends..
and i have a question, talking to a girl and showing that i care, is that called flirting..? hmm..
if so, i think i will stop doing that and talk without filtering..?
maybe being a gentleman is flirting..?
i'm brought up by my dad the gentleman way..
i'm confused..!

hmm and so, although i've made few friends,
i still like this particular girl laa..
just like her company that's all..
and yeah we're FRIENDS..
why i bold it, ask the past..

anyways, life's a bore...
i wish i was a daredevil..
taking risks..being strong when i fall..
kewl stuff.. klah, back to VI...

great result...not working on thursday...

2007-03-08T13:06:00.000+08:00

hey ho guys..
had a testimonial match against hua yians..
us ex-huayians consist of me irwan firizqi shahril nanqiang and loads more..
it was a good team although we all don't have much stamina..
the huayians ran and ran at us..
we kept our composure and scored through nicholas (3 times in fact..)
and another one through habib..
an unexpected goalscorer..
haha...
first half, scoreline was 3-1...
yes i did conceed..
easy goal though..
everyone slacked..
no understanding..hee..
and, first half was the half i got my ankle stepped on..!!
painful la but kinda happy oso...
i sweeped off that guy's legs and grabbed the ball before i got stepped on..
2nd half started slowly...
we got control of the match first 15 mins or so..
after scoring thru habib which made the scoreline 4-1,
we slack alot...
we were pounded with attacks..
they scored although we thought it was offside..
nemind laa.. attack after attack we receive..
i stood strong..irwan was relaxing..
they said i made a remarkable save..
its just another save man..although i flew from right to left to punch the ball away..
and i parried away another chance after that...
so i'm tested and proven to be an improved player after playing for NPFC..

neways, after the match, HYSS coach kinda offered me and irwan to kinda participate in a soccer sch he's about to open..
hope it will open up more opportunities for us..
went to makanshiok for our sorta dinner..
mee hoon goreng mama was crappy...
more like taugeh bawang goreng..
didnt finish it due to a whole load of taugeh and bawang..
if its a small quantity nemind..this one LaRgE!!

and oh ya, happy 51st b'day to my mum..!!
060307..a day to remember..she got a watch as a present..
me and dad got her cake..yummy cake..
celebrated her b'day with my only nenek and aunties and uncles..
it was great laa...but i hadta go at 9 though coz hafta lend babat my boots..

and so what i'm doing now..?
loadsa housework..hahakz..
gonna do my dad's company stuff soon..
didnt go work today.. need to accompany mum instead..
pity her alone at home w/o company if i work..
so might as well stay home..

ok so back to work malix...
loadsa stuff on my back to finish..cya guys..!!
and if any of u wanna see my mum's pic, i'll upload on friendster..
she posed with her new watch..hee..cheerios...

dirty joke.. find it hilarious!

2007-03-07T02:37:00.000+08:00

Mad Cow Disease

A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with a farmer, seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease.
The Lady: "Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the possible source of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?"
The Farmer stared at the reporter and said: "Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"
The lady reporter (obviously embarrassed): "Well, sir, that's a new piece of information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow disease?"
The Farmer: "And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?"
The reporter: "Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?"
The Farmer: "I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?"

11 days!!

2007-02-26T04:48:00.000+08:00

wow wow kepow!
its been 11 days since i've last updated..
what the heck..
been busy lately...
work..
stuff that needs to attend to everytime..
those who knows, knows la hah..
if you donch know, try thinking hard..

time is not by my side..
time is running out..
its my precious time..
its like a gem amongst all rocks..
the most important thing in my life..
time..
its gonna be few more days to march..
don't want her to go..
don't want our lives to be torn apart..
i feel i've not done enough just yet to repay her..
she's always been in and out of her room...
as days go by, our age aint increasing..
in fact its decreasing..
so everyone, appreciate the time that we have..

owkeyy enough crap aight..
so what have i been up to..?
work, work and work..
there's this giordano girl @ imm who keeps smiling towards coffee club direction..
of course aint looking at me laa..
aci mcdonalds la the one always smile2 at me when i eat there..
chett..
apa da acii..
lu buta kah..?
other than that, there's another girl @ bata who suddenly smiled at me..
weird..
its not that i'm proud of myself or what...
but its just maybe i have a friendly face..?
wahaha....
vomit all you want...
cough all you like...
hahakz..
its just a MaYbE...=)

and so i've been contacting this new friend of mine...
better our friendship is...
closer we get...
stop smiling i can't...
wah like yoda i am...
nyahaha...
F.Y.I, this new friend of mine, she mentioned my name in her blog..
so if u guys duno who i'm refering to, go find urself la..
lazy ass peeps...

klah, wanna cleep..
and dream of wonderful things life might have in store for me..
hee..
ciao..!!

fun or sad holidays..?

2007-02-15T18:55:00.000+08:00

finally into holiday mood!!
i don't care bout DEC or Maths..
screw it..
i just wanna pass..
i don't care if i do well anot..
a pass will do...
screw you 2nd year..!

ok so what am i gonna do in the holidays..?
stay at home full time..?
or work for few days..?
hmm
dat depends on the situation that i'm currently in..
gonna work friday saturday sunday and probably monday too...
CNY coming man..
gotta tekan $$ dude..!
i wanna get at most 300 or 400 ar for this month's salary..
wanna try finish my bike license by june..
that's 4 more months..

ok so i know that i'm gonna do project...
for 3rd year..
but what kinda project is that gonna be..?
VI..?
PLD..?
i hope i get the one that i want..
wee!

so i've thought to myself..
should i move off with other things in life...
rather than be concerned with everyone else's feelings..?
hmm...
i should heck care bout others maybe...
since there isnt any cushion for me when i fall...
maybe there is one or two ar..
or maybe i should be selfish and only concentrate on me and my family..
hmm... a thought...
but i dowanna be selfish...
i wanna be humble...
i dun wanna be sombong or whatt...
that's an advice from my dad and also from nadym...

HP has been quite silent..
except for some moments when this new friend of mine sms me..
that sparked me up...
at times, the smses come at the right moment..
what a coincidence..
i wonder what is there in store for me and this person..
may we turn into better friends than nw..=)
cheers to our friendship...

that's all..!!
ciao!

maths fever..

2007-02-10T01:48:00.000+08:00

i'm sooo dead..
i'm gonna fail maths yo..!
nemind laa..
failure is the MOTHER of your SUCCESS...
wee..
got that from afro...
kewl bro..long time nvr see...

so what's happening so far...?
basically nothing but study study and more study..
other things, as per normal, buy food for parents at home..
what else did i do..?
oh ya, done a few house chores after exams juz nw..
was damn sleepy laa after exams juz nw..
didnt even get to sleep know..
but i persevered from the exams to going to hospital with my parents..
up till buying meal @ west coast with both parents..
and adding on to it is trip to nenek's house..
really shagged laa...!!
i'm having red red eyes...
and thus, i havent sleep for the past urm, more than 48 hrs..?
kewl shit..
no rest..
how am i gonna last at IJC tmr..?
that's a wonder..

lucky of me to get a chance to go out roaming with friends on a saturday..
but too bad, aint gonna go with friends..going alone afterall..
nemind lah.. who cares.. i've been left out b4..
might as well be all alone...
much much more peaceful this way..
can cater to my family's needs...
once family is settled, friends will come in..

so, had a chat with dad over some polar puffs at hospital just now..
its always fun man talking to dad...
i feel we're getting much closer...
i love him soo soo much..
loadsa advice given..
loadsa experience lit upon me..
but...
am i gonna take over my dad's company when the time comes..?
i might..
and poof, malik the director of honeybee engineering pte ltd..
wee!
kewlness.. but gotta study very hard laa..
must make my parents' dreams come true..
a diploma and hopefully a degree from me...
that would be amazing to enjoy having a degree together with both my parents..
the best moment of my life if that happens..

klah, enough future aspects of me...
currently just plain screwed up me...
cheers to life..!

old man..

2007-02-09T00:09:00.000+08:00

been walking like old man for 2 days already..
i dunno what happen to my right knee...
left ankle already good..
right knee problem..
haiyoo...
and now blisters..??
oh my..when am i gonna be well?
lets wonder...

ok so what have i been up to lately...
been studying..
been going around @ the market to grab food for home..
basically i spend A LOT of time at home..
hadta get some space for myself just nw..
so went to study alone at the J.E library...
studied there for 2-3 hrs..
then went back home..
went out again to get more food for family..
and finally, settled down on my bed with some notes and used papers..
finally got worries off my back...
maths is gonna be an obstacle..
but i'm gonna try my best i will..

regards and best wishes to elias who fell from his bike..
get well soon bro..

when am i gonna be riding bike..??
not so soon i guess..
a whole lot of responsibility piled on me..
so i hafta be responsible right...
dengg...
after 15th feb, i'm gonna work only on friday saturday sunday and maybe monday..
other days, i wanna be at home..
as u may know, march is coming up...
but i bet nobody knows what march has in store for me..
it could be a devastating moment for me..
could be the same few days i've been going thru...
who the heck wants a miserable life..?
i'm just hoping that GOD is by my family's side...
and that every test that we're going thru together brings us closer in touch with heaven..
no month is more important than march..
on that month, i'm not gonna work..
spend the whole month at home..
anything can happen...
at any point of time given, the switch can just turn off...
oh Allah please help me repent and forgive my sins...
i wanna rejoin my family when the time comes...
i love them with all my heart...
sometimes i'm just too stressed up with myself that i dunno what to do with myself..

anyways, exams tomorrow...
held at SIM HQ.. 9am..
gotta be at sch by 8..JH wants me to teach him..
since when can i teach? hahaha..
lets try aight tmr..
neways, cheers...

ciao for now...

track 7 of 21 classics..

2007-02-05T18:10:00.000+08:00

Ibarat sekuntum bunga
Disunting di dalam jambangan
Diperhias indah beremas
Dipuja setiap hari

Tetapi apakan daya
Bunga tak segar selalu
Menanti saat ketika
Yg segar menjadi layu

Adoi adoi
Tak tahan hati merindu
Mudah kering dek racun asmara
Dah gugur tak mungkin kembang pula

Adoi adoi
Tak tahan hati merana
Sudah layu tak mungkin dipandang
Habislah manis hampas dibuang

Apakah dosanya wanita
Tak suda menerima siksa
Segar menjadi rebutan
Layu menjadi hina

some nice lyrics...
this is from a classical song..
the olden days kept running through my head..
i wonder how the ladies were running the house..
with soo much torture and punishment done by the husband..
and they endured them all and still love their husbands..
that shows their strong character..
cheers.. sorry for those who don't understand the lyrics..
hee..ciao...

draw!!!

2007-02-04T00:07:00.000+08:00

drew initially against TP in 5th and 6th position in IVP...
lost in the penalties..
damn...
parried 2 penalties, still unable to save the penalty..
saved 1 penalty though..
heee...
ishh.. bad luck for me..
nemind laa..
the way TP scored at first, really stupid laa..
penalty siol..!!
shouldnt happen..!
nemind laa.. enjoyed myself..
i'm sure the others enjoyed looking at the captain saving balls...
wahaha..for the first time i'm the captain of a team..
damnn.. hw kewl is that..
hahakz..
but still, its still nt a good day for me..
since when its a good day for me..?hmm...

neways, bruised my legs and all..
its ok...i'm ok aje..=)
cheers..

alrighty, wanna ciao..pape msg...
ciao..!

lyric

2007-02-02T18:37:00.001+08:00

Kau belai jiwa yang pernah terluka
Dan palingkan resah yang ada
Sambutlah cinta dan aku janjikan satu kesetiaan

that's a song by exists..
say i'm old school but its a nice song..!
that is only one part of the song that i like most..
something to do with myself maybe..
ciao...

2007-02-02T18:37:00.000+08:00

torn apart..

2007-02-02T02:14:00.000+08:00

ooh baby u've taken my heart..
this precious heart of mine was captured few years back..
and nw it seems like things wont go my way..
as sad as it seems, chins up, hafta face the world still..
i cant let one downfall lead to a more severe downhill ride..
wont let problems hinder me..
problems are set not to create more problems..
its a test of ur will..
test of ur patience..
it is, a TEST..of one's character..

so a torn heart can always be mended..
its a matter of yourself finding the way to mend it..
a torn paper can be taped together..
why not a torn heart..?
think of it..

chances..that's what successful people take everyday..
as if it's their meal..
they take chances at everything..
risks are involved yes...
but what bout the profits that one might gain..?
goes the same for matters of heart..
if u take ur chance on someone, its a risk for sure..
but think of it..it might be a gain for yah...
once again, think of it..

yeay i'm crapping again..
i'm just feeling down daa deyy..
first time in NP history that their soccer team..
didnt get to qualify for semis..
our team created history!!
........
that's soo dumb of mike to bring in akhbar..
this akhbar guy..totally useless...
even the physio talks much more than him..
nemind laa..i just let it be..
wont be president for long...
ciao NPFC...nyahaha!!

hmm what the heck am i doing here early in the morning..?
i'm freaking hungry lately..!!
reach home, no food..
reach home, eat epok2 extra2 from morning..
what a healthy lifestyle..hmmmm...
i'm still down with flu though..so i'm SICK still...dengg...

anyone wanna go IJC on the 10th..?
pity me laa soo lonely..
nyahaha...anyone wanna accompany..?

hmmm...
been looking forward to chat with her lately...
when is she gonna be online..?
hmmmm...
i wonder wassup with her life now..
hope everything's fine and a-ok..
nak sms tapi selalu free malam2 gini jeee...
takut cik adik tu da tido...

klah, i wanna go steam some food and eat!
ciao...

suckas..

2007-01-31T19:03:00.000+08:00

once again, i'm left out of the group..
initially i don't even know they wanna go watch the match..
i joined them after i got to know from someone.
next, i also didnt know they were gonna play soccer..
got to know that from another guy again..
that happened like twice or thrice..
then now, i didnt get to watch the match again cause there's no ticket for me..

what i'm treated like crap now..?
i feel worse than crap..i feel like shit..
nemind its ok..
since they like it that way, i'll just b a loner..
will just wait and wait till they ask me to join them or smth...

i already have plans on 10th feb..
that is to go IJC and enjoy myself there..
that is, by myself..
maybe firah joining, i donch know..
maybe ias and his gf joining, i donch know either..
the fact is, i'm going...

since my life is soo plain boring now, i'm gonna spice it up with some studying..
and some housework..
vacuuming, clean toilet..
that's so simple wimple..

and finally, got soccer this thursday, dun think i'm gonna play..
jeremy's the favourite GK for them coaches..
i'm just not good enough..
didnt even get to play one minute..
at least last yr's IVP syaz gets to play one whole game..
this yr, nt even once second..
so basically i just waste my time benchwarming..
isnt it better if i could just go home and prepare some porridge for mum..?
or better still, don't participate in IVP at all..?
hmm that's a thought..
i'm gonna give it a last shot..
my passion aint gonna die off..
screw NPFC now..
freaking act like superstars...

new

2007-01-28T18:55:00.000+08:00

hey all..
looks like i'm never gonna accomplish what i wanted..
but i'm sure she likes and enjoys my company..
dono if she loves it though..
i'm sure i love every minute with her..
although last time we met i wasnt talking much..
had too much to think of..
too much shit to take care of..
too much matters to attend to..

and now i'm SICK!
down with flu and loadsa headache..
and i tend to blow orange mucus..
strange aint it..?
its suppose to be yellowish transparent mucus..
ORANGE...
strange..
i hope i wont be sick that much..
parents already sick, i oso wanna be sick..
apa daa..

ok so ytd eventhough sick, spent time with BK...
watched Singapore vs Malaysia..
causeway rivals..!
nyahah..
singapore won..
was expecting malaysia to win though...
great fight there was..
lost a bet with cik sani my westridge coach..
hafta belanja him coke..ape saje tahh..
nemind..secara ikhlas akanku belanjamu..

after match, was suppose to go lau pa sat eat..
but then the jam held us until 12.40 seh...
so we waited and waited..
and oh ya did i talk about this new friend of mine fyra or firah..?
she's quite the kecoh type ar..
ketawa non stop beb..
tak betul punya orang..
talk and talk and talk with her at lau pa sat...
that was like at about 1+ or 2 seh...
i ate nasi goreng pattaya with alfa...
others eat carrot cake laa..
mcm2...
drank teh but was too dumb not to stir b4 i drink...
but nemind..finished my drink afterall..
after eating and all, went to send iassky's mataye back to yishun..
was a long trip but its nice to travel with the wind and rizal..
reach yishun already, i was freaking cold laa...
rain know..
after like 30 mins or so, went off to head home with iassky..
bout 7 motors travel together..
kool huh..
adam's always at the back..still havent reach 1500km..
reach home at bout urm, 4+..

reach home, bathe, sleep..
still sick till now seh..
woke up at 3.30 just now..
a lil dizzy and blocked nose..
gonna go lie down now..

ciao...

-starting a new..
-failure is your mother to success..
-friggin learn from mistakes..

one after another

2007-01-26T21:30:00.000+08:00

hey all..
been trying to think and re-think what's happening to me..
i still cant get anything..
i'm so not good in life..
sux seh..
tutorials left undone..
projects not executed..
am never enjoying life..
after being hit with a stone, i've been going downhill..

we're going down...
down down down down down...

cant u believe its a song actually?

hmm ok so what i've been up to lately?
been listening to music..
mostly classical music..
kinda got addicted to it..
i ever cried listening to the first song on the disc!
haha..kewl shit..
its just a very very saddening song ar..
and what other things..hmm
been benchwarming so far..
sitting down doing nothing..
kinda always moody..
i dont even feel like talking to edmund seh..heh...
always staring blankly...
finish soccer, talk talk with shane..
he's a great buddy la..
never fail to keep me smile..
SHANEE!!!..
everytime i meet him, i'll shout his name..hahakz..
great buddy to have man...
even when times of misery and what not...
whatever problems i face, he's always hearing me out..
been buddies since that aussie trip.. cool huh..

klah..wanna outz..
got nothing to update...

-never be selfish..
-love aint perfect afterall..nothing's perfect..
-one day or another, one will regret not accepting love from the one who loves them most...
-i have no say about love but i think my love needs some appreciation...cheers...

food glorious food..

2007-01-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

thx to my FRIEND who gave the eclairs and tart and my mum's fav, croissant thingy..if the spelling is wrong, correct for me.. thankiew..

i got nothing to update..
i'm just updating for sake of updating..hee..

cheerios...
tata..

*life aint what u thought it would be....
*preparing for the worse in life...

silence

2007-01-23T22:11:00.000+08:00

its very unlike me to be soo quiet when she's around..
circumstances always kept me thinking..
what the heck am i here for..?

*forever thinking..
*forget me not..
*nvr will forget her..
*feelings hardly gonna fade..
*hopes held high..snap back to reality malik..!!
*seems like hardly gonna happen.....

questions come into my mind..
what do i lack in character..?
am i too selfish at home..?
if i am, mum, dad, please please forgive me...
i cant take shit no more..
i'm frustrated..
in school..
in soccer..
love life..
even at home...
mum, i dun wanna play soccer..
dad, i wanna stay home as much as i can..
big brother, u're fucking useless.. go get married..
2 sisters, do ur best girls..i'm by ur side..
annurah my dear sis, please doakan so tt i can repent..
i wanna re-join the family when the time comes then..

stupid human..

2007-01-22T23:44:00.000+08:00

Manusia Bodoh

by Ada Band

Dahulu terasa indah
Tak ingin lupakan
Bermesraan selalu jadi Satu kenangan manis

Tiada yang salah
Hanya aku manusia bodoh
Yang biarkan semua ini permainkanku
Berulang ulang kali

Mencoba bertahan sekuat hati
Layaknya karang yang dihempas sang ombak
Jalani hidup dalam buai belaka
Serahkan cinta tulus di dalam takdir

Tak ayal tingkah lakumu
Buatku putus asa
Kadang akal sehat ini
Tak cukup membendungnya

Hanya kepedihan
Yang selalu datang menertawakanku
Engkau belahan jiwa
Tega menari indah di atas tangisanku

Semua kisah pasti ada akhir
Yang harus dilalui
Begitu juga akhir kisah ini
Yakinku indah

Tapi sampai kapankah kuharus
Menanggungnya kutukan cinta ini
Bersemayam dalam kalbu

patience

2007-01-22T04:33:00.000+08:00

patience my son..
i'm feeling freaky..
feel like a tissue..
once used up, i'm gone..
seriously..
what's happening to me..?
why is life so unfair..?
i know life is never fair..
but fallen, fell again..
i'm going downhill man..!
i may seem happy..
but nobody..
i mean NOBODY understands me..
NOBODY knows what's happening in me..
not even the special someone..
not even parents..
not even shane, my good friend..
not even irwan, my childhood friend..
not even ANYONE!!
life's a bummer..

i am explosive nowadays..
i feel like shit..
i'm just hoping someone would care bout me..
but nah..
i'm going thru shit ALONE..
nobody to share with..
nobody to get comfort with..
totally nobody by my side..

what's more, i've been waiting and waiting..
no reply..
i don't feel special..
perhaps i'm not..
i aint handsome..
i aint smart..
i aint a nice person to be with..
i am just too dumb to realise things..
just good at blabbering and making people angry..
and at the same time, getting stepped on over and over again..
u can repeat that again and again..
and wow my height is 1.8m but then i feel so short..
that's if u guys even understand me..

i'm speechless..
i'm hopeless..
i'm whatever crappy shit u wanna call me..
cause u know what, i feel what my sis feels now..
i feel like crying but i don't cry..
i feel broken inside out..
nobody notices..
is there a knife anywhere..?
maybe i should start repenting..
probably at the age of 30, i will be on the headlines..
"Male, aged 30, stabbed himself and bled to death.."
how amazing..

i've been having loadsa patience..
am i not doing enough..?
maybe i should shut myself up..

that's it..
keeping quiet for a long time..
if anyone wants to contact me, find me @ msn..
i think i will be online most of the time..
since i will be at home after school/soccer/work..
just gonna slack @ home hoping to find peace there..
this is such a long entry..

well, keeping quiet starts now..
if u don't see me online, sms me lah..92203439..
ciao..

"your life is very short.."
"live life to the fullest.."
"don't be like me hanging on a thread.."
"make loadsa friends.."
"appreciate them.."

"i'm just a FRIEND..."

miss me?

2007-01-18T22:43:00.000+08:00

wahaha.. 9 days since i last posted in my blog..
and hey i do blog..wee..
been hectic lately..
work is fine so far..
sch is doing good..only some crappy thingy..
as for soccer, i suck at it so might as well step down as president..
stressful know become president..
ppl keep pushing you to the max..
so to the people who wants to become president, it is stressful!!

so dont be so semangat in something tt ppl wants u to become president!
soccer been sucky so far cause i've not been playing..
its okay.. stay strong and i shall be number 1 again..
player's attitude been sucky..
step superstar u know..
they think they're the best..
and so i think the team should be equal shouldnt it? hmm..
i suck at controlling people..
so someone please replace me..?

hmm so been msging her lately...
seems like now people know that we're real close friends..
so what if ppl know.. good la they know... kudos to them..
nth gonna change anything yo.. hopefully change for the better ar..=)

klah, i'm feeling kinda tired and useless right now..restless too..
so i wanna do some core exercises and get myself FIT..
ciao... anything msg me aight! 92203439..
how nice of me to give my phone number.. haha... OUT..

down...

2007-01-09T00:17:00.000+08:00

hey hey...
miss me?
haha..
been busy laa lately..
work, sch, soccer..
no time for blogging..
and now here i am..!
ok lets update bout my common tests..

EM3A - 78..
DEL - 56..

what a bummer.. 56 of all marks..
78 for maths.. wat a miracle..
never had such high marks for maths..
always lacking behind for maths..
tutorial always hand up late..
haha..
I&E PROJECT SCREWED!!
how..? die la..
must think of PLAN B..
what are we gonna do that has got to do with the 5 Cs..?
COLLABORATION...
CREATIVITY..
CHARACTER..
CHALLANGE..
CONFIDENCE..

if u think of anything, tell me aight! thx in advance!

ok so enough of sch crap.. now to soccer
been winning lately..
against National U-18 we drew 3-3..
against SIM won 1-0 once and 3-0 just now..
didnt play against national and SIM..
so i am just fed up with myself..
what should i do to give him headache? hmmm
wednesday training will show the roughest me..
watch out guys..
ur legs are mine to sweep!
i'm just sooo fed up ler..
and kicked the only goal kick just now, my left knee gave way..
is it ligament tear?
i'm walking like a retarded person according to someone..heh...
reason being, i'm in a damn painful state..
i walk slow..
i cant bear walking too fast..

ok enough complaining..
i wanna go massage this knee of mine..
on this saturday, if there's nth on, i wanna go watch spirit of victim with u dear girl..!!
please please be free..

keh wanna sleep already.. gimme a tag aight if u read.. if nt i assume nobody read..
hee.. nitez!!

2006-12-27T01:20:00.000+08:00

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing,
Watch you smile while you are sleeping,
While you're far away and dreaming,
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,
I could stay lost in this moment forever,
When every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure.

kewl lyrics.. wow what a busy week i have.. work, soccer.. home.. doinks.. work was fun..closing all malay..
not being racist la but then it was really fun lah all malay.. chill aje.. kit our supervisor kept mum.. he dare not say anything
wahaha.. doinks.. i keep saying doinks laa.. habit now..

anyways, still aint giving up hope.. cause i think there might still be room for lil hope.. lets HOPE things will be better in 2007..

klah, to that girl, i hope there's a chance in ur heart.. may ALLAH bless ur family.. take care of nenek yah.. she needs loadsa care..

bye all..

bad

2006-12-23T22:58:00.000+08:00

although westridge won 10-5, i played a particularly bad game.. eventhough i saved few shots, my play still aint good enough.. 10-5 to an 8 man team.. what the heck..!!

and my stupid mood came again.. i feel like i suddenly cannot control my anger.. sorry ah wei if i screwed ur night.. really couldn't help but vent my anger verbally..

i think i need an anger management course.. hahakz.. i get angry easily.. i explode more than i usually do.. what's happening to me..? lets just wonder since i have no answers to it..

wednesday explode.. today explode.. i wonder when will i explode again.. hope working wont be affected.. coming monday tuesday saturday and sunday working..
shit sunday...
hari raya haji i need to work.. WTH!!

screw it.. i shall celebrate by going prayers then go work.. wahaha..

klah, no more thoughts.. i'm just trying to think what makes me angry actually.. stress kott..
bye bye...

what a world

2006-12-21T23:40:00.000+08:00

hey hey hey..

what a world we're living in..
crown presented on a silver tray,
the queen wants the crown presented on a polished gold tray..
servant gets upset,
but still he doesnt give up..
he finds hard for gold trays..
he picked up one..
and thought it was gold...
he was fooled..
its a silver tray slightly painted gold..
he still doesnt want to give up..
he doesnt want to upset the queen..
that's what he pledge himself..
never to give up trying..
and not to upset the queen..
may god help him in his dangerous unforgiving journey to find gold tray..

guys, nw its time for you to try twist and turn and try to see what's up with me...
cheers ya'll...

hmm..

2006-12-21T01:20:00.000+08:00

hmm lets put in some thoughts..

feelings come and go..
people come and go too..
but this feeling just dun wanna leave me..
tried once, tried twice..
failed both attempts..
dear Allah please answer my prayers..
i promise to be a better person both religiously and character wise..

i've screwed up people..
made people angry..
made myself angry..
that is just not me..
since when i'm a problem player?
since when i snap at people..?
since when i'm explosive..?

past few days been a rough..
someone please cheer me up..?
i cant live an explosive life..
that just aint me..
not only am i explosive,
my appetite seems lower now..
only ate one chicken wing juz nw..

i'm not being me..
i wish i am the person by her side..
ALWAYS..
but hey, to think of it,
i now realise how valuable i am..
that's a big fat 0..

nobody cares..
nobody knows..
the feelings i feel for her..
the joyous moments i had with her..
the memorable days..
washed down into the drain..
or am i just assuming stuff..?
i freakingly hope i am assuming..
cause if not,
its really hard to climb out of this hole in my heart..

she's someone special..
but am i special too..?
lets wonder and keep wondering..
cause i know the answer is too painful to reveal..
but heck, the answer needs some light to be shone on..

some long thoughts.. ignore if u get bored looking...

lyric

2006-12-20T13:49:00.000+08:00

Airmata ini kan mengalir sendiri
Biar kulewati jalan yang kita susuri
Sukarnya untukku melupakan wajahmu
Baikmu terasa walau kau tiada
Selebar dinia takkan pernah ada
Serupa denganmu
Engkau yang kucinta mungkinkah tercipta
Bukannya untukku

some lyrics i find interesting... look up and listen to exists - terasa baiknya.. that's the title of the song.. cheers all..

what a setback

2006-12-19T21:09:00.000+08:00

damn strange yeah.. what a setback.. stand back malik, u're in for a shocking jam in ur heart...

if any of u dun know, try figure urself out... dun need to ask me.. you went get an answer.. cause i'm gonna keep to myself only... nobody gets the answer cause i don't think nobody cares laa.. nemind la.. let this un-erasable feelings try its best to fade away whereas they can never fade..

feeling down... someone ease the pain!! please..

steamboat

2006-12-18T01:45:00.000+08:00

why i call it steamboat..? cause i ate steamboat at home just now!! ok so what did i basically eat..? some mutton, cheese hotdog and crabstick + sotong ball, and loadsa vege.. all in the soup.. yummy..

that's all i have to update now..!! nothing special happened as i slept until 3 pm just nw.. what an achievement..!! wee... so lets write down some stupid thoughts.. hmm..

ur birthday this year might be on wednesday but nxt year, its on a thursday.. so every single year u celebrate ur b'day on the nxt day of the week.. so think about it.. and plan ur b'day way ahead..!! wahahah...

ok bye for now.. on the phone with her.. wee.. tata..

esplanade

2006-12-16T21:59:00.000+08:00

suppose to meet at 8.40.. wasted my freaking 50 mins at lakeside MRT station staring at every single thing including the marble piece i sat on at the lakeside concourse.. its such a nice piece of material.. marble.. i wonder how its made actually...

anyways, at about 10+ we reached cathay cineleisure to have my meal.. they said they dun wanna join but then lastly joined me eat KFC... no choice lah hafta eat that fast food.. AINT HEALTHY!

so after the meal, went outside cathay to accompany the smokerz smoke..then went off to ngee ann city to kinda lepakz.. babat got a glance of this girl with her friend.. funny la this girl.. apuk asked if she is attached to the guy friend.. then the 15 YEAR OLD girl actually said this..." you think i don't have any taste if i were to stead with him? puleeasee..." was amazed at the remark la cause to me, out of 10 she'll receive only like 5-6.. and the remark.. hahakz.. funny la this girl.. nemind...everyone also have their tastes..

ok so after that, got screened by this group of policemen+1 policewomen.. not really screened la but they got our details down.. address ic number and all... friendly people.. cool yo..!! keje lepak aje.. haha...

ok so after that, babat went pasrah cause he break up with his girl.. that sux though.. first time i saw him cry.. cheer up babat.. kalau da jodoh tak ke mana2... ye ye je say that but myself, sioww.. anyways, after "screening" and all, went off to esplanade walking non stop.. stopped at starbucks at the specialist centre or whatever its called... got free ice choc from mr syam(Westridge)..!! and happy b'day to him..!!! wee...he's a cool person laa... everything also know..

after the short break, continued walk to esplanade... when reach esplanade already, everyone went tired.. i just continued smsing dearest sweetie... called her awhile but then cut short uh.. she working the nxt day and she's tired so understanding siket lerr.. hee.. was wishing she was beside me relaxing and counting stars..

anyways, all were bored.. after like 30 mins of staring no where, dunno who suggested playing this primary school game, pepsi cola... cool seh! long time never whack2 people leg.. nw my foot gt a bit blisters already.. haha.. what to do, they wear shoe i barefoot know!! nemind.. had a blasting day.. but then, the activities for saturday awaits.. 9.50 hafta be at BBDC, reach there late by 5 mins.. then was a bit sleepy but still can hang on uh.. listen to the crappy instructor... waiting for time to book RTL.. grr...

after BBDC, went home with rafi my primary school mate.. he's cool lah.. but lost all his left ligaments.. pity him cant play soccer.. nemind my friend... shall see u soon..!!

went home, cant really sleep...ate a bit of rice.. then went off to farrer park at about 3.30.. this one still havent sleep know...played soccer there against elias park.. lost 4-1.. hey its a better score right rather than 6-1.. ishh.. they said i played well.. i dun believe i play well.. what u think? hmm... i still need to have room for improvements.. monday playing at JALAN BESAR!! a great artificial stadium.. hope i'll excel there.. who knows i might get a chance to play for club.. haha..

wow such a long entry.. hahakz.. just releasing some tension.. hahakz.. i'm part of her life but am i someone really special in hers..? cause she is in mine...

alright lets not think of it.. hee... thoughts of the day.. hmmm... none lah.. my mind really blank now.. plain boring life.. when am i gonna spice it up..? anyone selling spice..?hmmm

updated again!! hee..

2006-12-15T00:54:00.000+08:00

never wanna make u cry
never wanna make those tears, come to your eyes

You think that i really don't love you
That could never be true
Cuz no matter what i'll always be real to you
So tell me what i layed on my line
Without you i'm ready to die
Cuz it's so hard for a man who expresses true love

cool lyrics by a song never wanna make you cry by kevin lyttle..
anyone want the song, ask from me.. wee
anyways, had a blasting time just now after common tests..
went to the new cathay thingy near PS with her..
watched the holiday.. romanticly comical movie.. cool movie though..
kinda touching.. had a great laugh and time with her there..
the $30 she reserved for me was finally spent..!! on slippers..
kinda fast choice though.. dun really shop and go for designs.. just simple is nice for me..
a big THX for her.. and congratulations on getting ur hands on ur new HP...*claps**claps*..

so a question in my mind, am i holding on to the key..? i really darn hope i'm holding the key to her heart.. cause to find a gem like this, its a one in a billion chance.. so there's about 5 billion humans.. so about urm, easy said, really rare gem to find lah.. hope things will turn out just fine or perhaps excellent.. weee...
alrighty, thoughts... hmmm... always hold on to someone you really love.. but then, if love is not returned, pick urself up and try to move on.. u might or might not find someone better..i cant find someone better.. tried and proven cant... another man's trash might be another man's treasure.. she sure is my treasure...

hmm finally, gd night all..!!

*enjoyed my time with her..
*hope she enjoyed her time too..
*thoughts of her kept running through my mind...
*dun wanna lose yah ever...
*this i promise you...

2006-12-11T01:23:00.000+08:00

I can't take
Seeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery

cool lyric.. just nice ler.. has got nothing to do with anything.. just find it a beauty..

anyways, the day juz nw was alil bit fun + boring.. but hey, i flew to save this ball aight just nw.. wahaha.. such a thrilling feeling when i "flew".. hahakz.. gotta try that again and again... afro and his buddy faiz gonna join westridge.. if his commitment is there, i'm sure westridge gonna be a hell of a team.. with speed and coolness, westridge will slowly rock ur socks... no sox aight fiddy.. nyahaha..

anyways, finger still in pain, knee problem lets hope isnt anything serious.. cant overstretch myself..
did some core muscle exercises.. i need to gain some body man... nw only 59 kg.. dropped 2 kilos..!! damn i'm skinny and i hafta be skinnier.. that's crazy.. although sharon says my body looks ok from what she sees, but still i aint satisfy yo..!! bahh.. more food..been eating alot and shitting alot.. grr...

alright, thoughts of the day, if you are committed, anything impossible is possible.. cooperation is much needed in almost everything.. don't say something is impossible until u've done that thing.. anything is possible in this world..unless of course u're gonna do smth stupid laaa.. wa lau weii!! haha..

okayy now.. bye bye..!!

-..have i found the keyy..??
-..is the door gonna open for me..?
-..in serious pain..
-needs improvement in studies, soccer and home affairs!!

dunno..

2006-12-10T00:14:00.000+08:00

hmm lets update..

JB trip was tiring cause the night b4, i slept at 5.30 am thinking alot...
and fixing this webcam problem thing.. dun need to know the problem, its solved i suppose..

JB trip didnt have any good outcome.. the ubi thingy couldnt find.. last resort, me and dad got it from the side of expressway.. got loadsa duri thing stuck on my slipper.. had a cut on my foot.. damn the plant.. but its worthwhile ar.. for mum's sake.. everything oso can..! wee...

made mum happy.. now i gotta make myself happy.. patience is cool... separuh dari iman beb..! haha.. cupid song is very the meaningful uh.. has it got any connection to the situation i'm in..? probably... GOD knows..

lets make it short..

thoughts of the day, dun study hard, study smart.. hee.. cheers guys.. gd luck..

confused..

2006-12-08T23:55:00.000+08:00

hey there peeps.. current state of mind, confused..

talking to wiwik my fav cuz on webcam now..wee..!! got webcam.. happy but at the same time sad + confused.. why i'm feeling confused?? i also dunno bout myself...

is it cause i don't show much attention to you..? hmm.. maybe.. nak cakap bill melambung, mmg.. cannot overuse my own HP.. cause bill was like $140 seh last mth... cause i msg the soccer guys alot.. termasuk ler msg orang2 tertentu skalik.. so i'm sorry if i dun give enough attention..

but then, lying was my past... that's why i chose this dumb skin... cause i was a liar.. i'm no more a liar cause i know, lying takes me nowhere.. anyways, sometimes i wonder why.. why i lied last time.. why was i such a painful guy who hurts someone's feelings trying to forget someone unforgetable.. genuine feelings.. those words i'm trying to translate through actions..

anyways, lost to national U-17.. such shame.. such painful moments.. almost let loose my left knee while trying to tackle this striker guy.. had my knuckle twisted in a way while trying to catch ball... oh my knee.. please be good and let me kick till half way line.. i know u can do it cause its done once..!! please..!! sunday training.. hope nothing serious happens.. but then if smth serious happens, i will really know who cares and who doesnt.. so serious injury or not..?hmmm.. someone answer my qn.. wee...

kler, thoughts of the day.. dun drink too much coke light.. can cause cancer..
whenever u have fever, go doc.. dun let it burn ur left part of ur brain or u'll turn retarded...

bye for now..wee...

great result comes great pain

2006-12-07T00:27:00.000+08:00

4-0.. colossal victory against central park FC.. they are so called the sharks.. they sucks la.. ehh rhyming laa..! haha.. anyways, its westridge's first clean sheet.. and i'm proud to hold that title.. woo hoo..! there's still room for improvements..!

anyways, like the title says, great result comes great pain.. my knee.. it hurts..! its tough for me to pray but i'll try my best to pray properly.. otha than this stupid left knee problem, i have this stupid ankle injury i undeservingly receieved.. actually stepped on my own ankle during monday training.. dumbass me.. wahaha. well i hope nothing serious happens to my knee.. i gotta wear this dumb knee guard when i go out or play soccer..

tomorrow match against national u-17.. hope we'll win.. a superb win against SIM will bring our morales up.. we shall control the game tmr.. another clean sheet for me please..?? been keeping 3 squeeky clean sheets..hee..

quotes quotes quotes..
if there's a problem we solve it, if we don't resolve it, it just usually jus' evolves into one big brawl.. from a 50cent song..
be liked for who you are and not what u're not..!! remember that guys... be urself.. dun eksyen become another person when u're not.. being urself is COOL...

thoughts of the day..
lets wish upon a star, that the key is finally found by me and i shall use it to open the heart that i've always wished and hoped for ever since that day... it would be supremely hard to find a replacement like you.. tried it once, failed.. might as well not move off.. learn from mistakes.. don't brag about it.. study the mistake done..

bye for now.. wanna have some nice sleep..sleepy la bloggie..!!

yesterday, today and the day after

2006-12-04T22:08:00.000+08:00

hey hey hey..

yesterday went to queensway after work.. actually planned to just eat but then, i need to get gloves..and slippers actually.. but nah, was wearing shoe.. lazy to pull out my feet to transfer on slipper to try on.. lazy me.. lazy to do every single thing..nyahaha.. anyways, work was boring as usual.. slipped into the cashier area and SMSed hEr.. lazy to work laa.. no customer at all.. and me and elfi expected a crowd for all the lil trainees..nyahaha.. sure cock up.. nevermind laa..!! finish work already..

AS for TODAY..
training as usual.. kinda a lil tiring one.. but its all fun.. its a must to improve myself..! i'm getting better day by day i hope.. its compulsory..!! thursday match.. hope i'm gonna do fine... i'm sure the opponent is tough.. lets pray for another clean sheet.. not shit aight..!!

tomorrow..
TEST!! DIE!! duno what demorgan's theorom.. stupid la that morgan..give theory for what?! now i'm confused over that bloody matter.. as for other stuff, its darn easy.. only have to do all in nor or nand gate, that's dumb.. hard.. and complicating..!!

anyways, hidup takley sombong..! kalau sombong jangan hidup la siol..! mati bagus.. kawan biar ramai, kekasih biar satu.. and the one and only i hoped for, i'll continue my wait.. i want to solve the problem as soon as possible and make our lives much happier and merrier and joyful and whatever nice words.. i hope i'm holding the key...

thoughts for tonight..wee.. bye all..!!

...NPFC 7-0 SIM...Westridge 2-2 Dunno what club...

2006-12-02T23:29:00.000+08:00

an amazing result by NPFC.. not a bad performance by Westridge.. somehow i feel like i wanna quit Westridge but then, they have amazing players with amazingly no fitness.. and no attitude at all.. when half time and leading, all happy2... if losing, all with angry and stupid faces.. no team spirit bebeh..!! nevermind... NPFC is gonna rule IVP.. u'll see.. nyahaha

7-0.. amazing result... thanx to fiddy for coming down and watch the match.. halfway through actually.. nevermind.. u still came.. thx for fulfilling the hope.. nyahaha.. maybe the reason we won 7-0 is because u came..wahaha.. ape saje la reasoning..

anyways, before going home from clementi stadium for westridge game, went off to JP to buy bloody fool scap paper.. then go delifrance to buy eclair..yummy..!! thx fiddy for letting me try the wasted eclair... nw addicted to it.. wa laoo weii!! came to ur shop then u ran away.. then that stupid karen(dunno if its correct anot) make that eclair stick to the bloody plastic thing.. stupid her..

lets solve problems together... for 2 heads are better than one.. as action speaks louder than words, i hope my so un-sweet words will give me a chance into ur heart... i hope i'm holding THE key...

till then, byebye..!!

amazing result, amazingly unexciting day

2006-11-29T23:58:00.000+08:00

wow wee.. against MI, NPFC won 6-0.. that's an amazing result.. was hoping she could watch the match but then nah, she's busy with work so shan't disturb her.. moreover, promised a no contact till 5th december thingy... just wishing that time could run off faster..

anyways, friday gonna have a match against SIM, our neighbour.. hope they'll lose cause we're gonna be their next nightmare.. prepare urself SIM rugger looking soccer players..

met for a short while.. got choc eclair thingy.. wanna keep it first.. seems appetizing but nah not yet time to eat.. too late.. met, sent her off to take bus then walked home while keeping quiet all along.. i just have nothing to talk about.. absolutely no mood i guess.. so would rather make things quiet than worsen things.. dad called at about 11.10 asking where i was.. still waiting for her damn it.. you don't have to be always angry at me.. i brought my bloody keys.. and i'm big enough.. so you don't have to pamper me..!!

man am i explosive or what..? hmm............... i'm currently slacking and slacking whole semester.. wonder when will i wake up my idea and start studying for real.. my life has been around family, soccer, work and finally PDA circuit board crap.. shitty buggy pda thingy is simple yet complicating..

alrighty then, shall end it here..

*wish you were there..
*not a family baby damn it..!!
*amazing result..
*quiet day of mine........

hopeful

2006-11-28T22:42:00.000+08:00

hey there peeps whoever's looking at this entry.. i am very very sorry if i've done anything wrong past few days or past few weeks or months or year... do forgive me for what i've done and do think that the past has passed by.. if there's anything be it important or not, do approach me..

anyways, just nw was a sucky day... i can be explosive at any given time.. and i think cause of that, i'm starting to lose friends.. loved ones.. what a crazy world i live in.. HP stays silent for a bit.. wonder when life gonna be lively yet again.. never ever..? probably..

btw, tomorrow i'm having a match against Millenia Institute.. hope we'll win with casualty.. heh u know who i'm talking about.. ME... weee.... starting to feel pains in my left knee.. hopefully aint gonna be anything serious but if its serious, then will i know what's going on in my life..

till next time..bye all...

*will not fall for yet another girl besides her..
*still hopeful
*i need anger management..
*need physio on me..!! damn knee..

down and out..

2006-11-28T00:38:00.000+08:00

never felt like this before..but hey, part and parcel of life.. whether its 1 week or 2 weeks or a month, i will still like you cause comparing that weeks to a year i've liked this person, its just soo little.. so yah.. nothing more to say.. really really like you like no other..

what a b'day present.. a person i really really like+love+cherish gone for a week... i wanna gain trust in each and everyone i know.. i wanna gain trust especially with this particular girl i like+love+cherish...

bye all... shall live a life of misery.. till 5th december comes, an unhappy me shall reveal itself to the world..

b'day

2006-11-26T00:30:00.000+08:00

hey hey hey.. had a quite tiring b'day for mee...

worked from 12-4.. work today was boooorrrriiiinnnggg... stupid supervisor johnson aint experience enough still wanna talk shit bout coffee club.. or coffee clubs according to his pronounciation.. cant even speak english properly and fluently.. how could he pass the interview.. whoever interviewed him must be dumb enough and be deaf enough not to hear his spoken english.. anyways johnson aside.. subhan is a kinda cool guy.. big sized.. must be a rugger last time.. stupid alex came at the freaking wrong time.. nemind laas.. going off already that time..

waited an hour after that so that the rain could slow down.. but nah, just went off with elfi the dwarf (not elf) to farrer park.. a cooling wind brushed off my shoulder everytime this dwarf accelerated.. a sudden adrenaline rush came rushing throughout my body.. hahaha.. what wonderful words i have in store.. reach farrer park, finally didnt have an official match.. i assisted a goal.. but hey, we were crappy.. i played striker..! haha.. anyways, lost 3-2.. who cares.. just a dumb friendly..

had a wonderful lil company just now with fiddy baby.. it was great.. talked about alot of things.. so now i know we aint a quiet pair of people aye fiddy..? hahakz.. its the first time i celebrate my b'day with someone.. esp someone special.. hee.. thx alot fiddy baby for the company.. appreciated the time we had.. we should go shopping together aight.. but dun wanna spend all ur $30 ler.. mcm byk gitu.. hahakz..

have i found the key..? or is it just a mirage in the dessert..? or some illusion made by some magician..? hmm.. i hoped i found the key to the heart shaped door.. that would make a perfect b'day present.. hahakz..

matters of heart aside, i wana go sleep now.. in peace.. so i shall R.I.P.. u know what i mean.. hee.. bye people.. and thank all those friends who wished me a happy b'day.. it aint just happy.. its every word connected to happy in a bunch of hours.. thanks all..!! byee...

lost

2006-11-23T00:39:00.000+08:00

wow wee... lets see.. Westridge LOST 7-1 to Elias Park.. that's an expected score i guess since i was the goalkeeper and being a new guy, i still cant click with the players yet.. i need more exposure.. i think i'm better off playing for NPFC but then, i'm still not that good enough.. how do i improve myself..? hmm... my goal kick sux, my drop kick sux even more, and communication, damn that's the worse of the list i think... i cant grab a simple ball since i thought my team mate was gonna take it.. but no... it went into goal instead.. what a joke... anyways, other than that, let in one stupid goal.. i could've punched it out but no... i wanted to save it instead and it slipped off and went into goal.. 2 goals MY mistake.. bah there's still 4 other mistakes made by defender..and one dumb penalty i cant save... guessed the correct direction but his shot was a lil too powerful that i cant punch it out.. damn i suck at penalties.. anyways let it pass...

so how are you..? i'm doing fine but a lil stressed out... anyways, i wanna sleep already uh..sleepy la..bubye..!

another boring day

2006-11-21T23:31:00.000+08:00

hey hey all readers..

had quite a good day uh.. done with that stupid circuit board.. alhamdulillah i got 8/10 for the beauty of my circuit board.. heh... passed all tests made on my board..

soccer was way cool today.. participated in the fitness thingy.. wow wee i'm first to finish that crap... ran the whole fitness course w/o feeling tired... except for some stitches here and there cause i ate something b4 the training... almost vomit sia!! damn everyone hates that feeling fo sure... anyways, am i gonna retain that fittest player name..? i hope not.. if yes, i might hafta run more than usual.. that's sick..!! anyways, friday having match.. hope things are gonna be A-OK.. against Gombak U-18.. hopefully a good win will help the morale of the team.. tmr having match agains jalan damai.. really wish i could play... and saturday against ELIAS PARK.. wow elias got his own park... and its syaz's club.. hope his club will lose.. WESTRIDGE kinda an ok team.. just not fit enough..

suddenly i dun feel like laughing.. i dunno why.. is it cause i'm asking too much questions..? c'mon people, am i irritating..? hmm... cause if i'm an irritable person, why not i just leave ur life..? hmm... readers please comment.. wee...

anyways, having a mind block now.. i dun feel like malik today.. i feel like i'm an abnormal alien who is very hopeful but then am sure that i have no place in anyone's door of love/happiness or whatever crap.. maybe this is the effect of stress in life.. what do you think..? crapaholicz...

nothing more for me to say..

boring day

2006-11-20T00:25:00.000+08:00

wow what a boring day i'm having..talking to her but then one for one aje...question, answer..that's all..BOOORRRRIIINGGGG....i think today's not my day..didnt play for islandwide..didnt get a reply msg..didnt get to go Pontian with family..didnt have a great 19th of November..! damn that day..haha..and i expect another boring 25th november...wee...

done with circuit board but then, it sucks la..i think i got it all wrong..!! damn my practical skills..its going down down down the drain man...and guess what,i dun understand a single shit of microcontroller application..which is MA btw..that module sucks to the core..!! confusing crap...

anyways,heard my sis going cairo...wow she's a smart ass la..!! get to skip all the damn years and just hafta endure 1 year there..whereas my other sis, Lina hafta go through 2 years..really miss her crap while she was here..whahaha.no hard feelings yeah sis..=) be cheerful aight..2 years kejap je...by then u still wont get to see me i think..NS babe..!! hehe...cant wait till i finish skool and have nothing to do but to just drive around alone..haha..

talking bout that,as promised fiddy, u're gonna be the first to drive/ride with me aight..i promise that...=) a promise is a promise...hehe...

anyways,like a boring day,comes a boring post..so hope ya'll wont get sleepy after reading this..haha...cheers...