Wednesday, January 31, 2007

-> suckas.. <-

once again, i'm left out of the group..
initially i don't even know they wanna go watch the match..
i joined them after i got to know from someone.
next, i also didnt know they were gonna play soccer..
got to know that from another guy again..
that happened like twice or thrice..
then now, i didnt get to watch the match again cause there's no ticket for me..

what i'm treated like crap now..?
i feel worse than crap..i feel like shit..
nemind its ok..
since they like it that way, i'll just b a loner..
will just wait and wait till they ask me to join them or smth...

i already have plans on 10th feb..
that is to go IJC and enjoy myself there..
that is, by myself..
maybe firah joining, i donch know..
maybe ias and his gf joining, i donch know either..
the fact is, i'm going...

since my life is soo plain boring now, i'm gonna spice it up with some studying..
and some housework..
vacuuming, clean toilet..
that's so simple wimple..

and finally, got soccer this thursday, dun think i'm gonna play..
jeremy's the favourite GK for them coaches..
i'm just not good enough..
didnt even get to play one minute..
at least last yr's IVP syaz gets to play one whole game..
this yr, nt even once second..
so basically i just waste my time benchwarming..
isnt it better if i could just go home and prepare some porridge for mum..?
or better still, don't participate in IVP at all..?
hmm that's a thought..
i'm gonna give it a last shot..
my passion aint gonna die off..
screw NPFC now..
freaking act like superstars...

***********
7:03:00 pm
***********

Sunday, January 28, 2007

-> new <-

hey all..
looks like i'm never gonna accomplish what i wanted..
but i'm sure she likes and enjoys my company..
dono if she loves it though..
i'm sure i love every minute with her..
although last time we met i wasnt talking much..
had too much to think of..
too much shit to take care of..
too much matters to attend to..

and now i'm SICK!
down with flu and loadsa headache..
and i tend to blow orange mucus..
strange aint it..?
its suppose to be yellowish transparent mucus..
ORANGE...
strange..
i hope i wont be sick that much..
parents already sick, i oso wanna be sick..
apa daa..

ok so ytd eventhough sick, spent time with BK...
watched Singapore vs Malaysia..
causeway rivals..!
nyahah..
singapore won..
was expecting malaysia to win though...
great fight there was..
lost a bet with cik sani my westridge coach..
hafta belanja him coke..ape saje tahh..
nemind..secara ikhlas akanku belanjamu..

after match, was suppose to go lau pa sat eat..
but then the jam held us until 12.40 seh...
so we waited and waited..
and oh ya did i talk about this new friend of mine fyra or firah..?
she's quite the kecoh type ar..
ketawa non stop beb..
tak betul punya orang..
talk and talk and talk with her at lau pa sat...
that was like at about 1+ or 2 seh...
i ate nasi goreng pattaya with alfa...
others eat carrot cake laa..
mcm2...
drank teh but was too dumb not to stir b4 i drink...
but nemind..finished my drink afterall..
after eating and all, went to send iassky's mataye back to yishun..
was a long trip but its nice to travel with the wind and rizal..
reach yishun already, i was freaking cold laa...
rain know..
after like 30 mins or so, went off to head home with iassky..
bout 7 motors travel together..
kool huh..
adam's always at the back..still havent reach 1500km..
reach home at bout urm, 4+..

reach home, bathe, sleep..
still sick till now seh..
woke up at 3.30 just now..
a lil dizzy and blocked nose..
gonna go lie down now..

ciao...

-starting a new..
-failure is your mother to success..
-friggin learn from mistakes..

***********
6:55:00 pm
***********

Friday, January 26, 2007

-> one after another <-

hey all..
been trying to think and re-think what's happening to me..
i still cant get anything..
i'm so not good in life..
sux seh..
tutorials left undone..
projects not executed..
am never enjoying life..
after being hit with a stone, i've been going downhill..

we're going down...
down down down down down...

cant u believe its a song actually?

hmm ok so what i've been up to lately?
been listening to music..
mostly classical music..
kinda got addicted to it..
i ever cried listening to the first song on the disc!
haha..kewl shit..
its just a very very saddening song ar..
and what other things..hmm
been benchwarming so far..
sitting down doing nothing..
kinda always moody..
i dont even feel like talking to edmund seh..heh...
always staring blankly...
finish soccer, talk talk with shane..
he's a great buddy la..
never fail to keep me smile..
SHANEE!!!..
everytime i meet him, i'll shout his name..hahakz..
great buddy to have man...
even when times of misery and what not...
whatever problems i face, he's always hearing me out..
been buddies since that aussie trip.. cool huh..

klah..wanna outz..
got nothing to update...

-never be selfish..
-love aint perfect afterall..nothing's perfect..
-one day or another, one will regret not accepting love from the one who loves them most...
-i have no say about love but i think my love needs some appreciation...cheers...

***********
9:30:00 pm
***********

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

-> food glorious food.. <-

thx to my FRIEND who gave the eclairs and tart and my mum's fav, croissant thingy..if the spelling is wrong, correct for me.. thankiew..

i got nothing to update..
i'm just updating for sake of updating..hee..

cheerios...
tata..

*life aint what u thought it would be....
*preparing for the worse in life...

***********
11:28:00 pm
***********

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

-> silence <-

its very unlike me to be soo quiet when she's around..
circumstances always kept me thinking..
what the heck am i here for..?

*forever thinking..
*forget me not..
*nvr will forget her..
*feelings hardly gonna fade..
*hopes held high..snap back to reality malik..!!
*seems like hardly gonna happen.....

questions come into my mind..
what do i lack in character..?
am i too selfish at home..?
if i am, mum, dad, please please forgive me...
i cant take shit no more..
i'm frustrated..
in school..
in soccer..
love life..
even at home...
mum, i dun wanna play soccer..
dad, i wanna stay home as much as i can..
big brother, u're fucking useless.. go get married..
2 sisters, do ur best girls..i'm by ur side..
annurah my dear sis, please doakan so tt i can repent..
i wanna re-join the family when the time comes then..

***********
10:11:00 pm
***********

Monday, January 22, 2007

-> stupid human.. <-

Manusia Bodoh

by Ada Band

Dahulu terasa indah
Tak ingin lupakan
Bermesraan selalu jadi Satu kenangan manis

Tiada yang salah
Hanya aku manusia bodoh
Yang biarkan semua ini permainkanku
Berulang ulang kali

Mencoba bertahan sekuat hati
Layaknya karang yang dihempas sang ombak
Jalani hidup dalam buai belaka
Serahkan cinta tulus di dalam takdir

Tak ayal tingkah lakumu
Buatku putus asa
Kadang akal sehat ini
Tak cukup membendungnya

Hanya kepedihan
Yang selalu datang menertawakanku
Engkau belahan jiwa
Tega menari indah di atas tangisanku

Semua kisah pasti ada akhir
Yang harus dilalui
Begitu juga akhir kisah ini
Yakinku indah

Tapi sampai kapankah kuharus
Menanggungnya kutukan cinta ini
Bersemayam dalam kalbu

***********
11:44:00 pm
***********

-> patience <-

patience my son..
i'm feeling freaky..
feel like a tissue..
once used up, i'm gone..
seriously..
what's happening to me..?
why is life so unfair..?
i know life is never fair..
but fallen, fell again..
i'm going downhill man..!
i may seem happy..
but nobody..
i mean NOBODY understands me..
NOBODY knows what's happening in me..
not even the special someone..
not even parents..
not even shane, my good friend..
not even irwan, my childhood friend..
not even ANYONE!!
life's a bummer..

i am explosive nowadays..
i feel like shit..
i'm just hoping someone would care bout me..
but nah..
i'm going thru shit ALONE..
nobody to share with..
nobody to get comfort with..
totally nobody by my side..

what's more, i've been waiting and waiting..
no reply..
i don't feel special..
perhaps i'm not..
i aint handsome..
i aint smart..
i aint a nice person to be with..
i am just too dumb to realise things..
just good at blabbering and making people angry..
and at the same time, getting stepped on over and over again..
u can repeat that again and again..
and wow my height is 1.8m but then i feel so short..
that's if u guys even understand me..

i'm speechless..
i'm hopeless..
i'm whatever crappy shit u wanna call me..
cause u know what, i feel what my sis feels now..
i feel like crying but i don't cry..
i feel broken inside out..
nobody notices..
is there a knife anywhere..?
maybe i should start repenting..
probably at the age of 30, i will be on the headlines..
"Male, aged 30, stabbed himself and bled to death.."
how amazing..

i've been having loadsa patience..
am i not doing enough..?
maybe i should shut myself up..

that's it..
keeping quiet for a long time..
if anyone wants to contact me, find me @ msn..
i think i will be online most of the time..
since i will be at home after school/soccer/work..
just gonna slack @ home hoping to find peace there..
this is such a long entry..

well, keeping quiet starts now..
if u don't see me online, sms me lah..92203439..
ciao..

"your life is very short.."
"live life to the fullest.."
"don't be like me hanging on a thread.."
"make loadsa friends.."
"appreciate them.."

"i'm just a FRIEND..."

***********
4:33:00 am
***********

Thursday, January 18, 2007

-> miss me? <-

wahaha.. 9 days since i last posted in my blog..
and hey i do blog..wee..
been hectic lately..
work is fine so far..
sch is doing good..only some crappy thingy..
as for soccer, i suck at it so might as well step down as president..
stressful know become president..
ppl keep pushing you to the max..
so to the people who wants to become president, it is stressful!!

so dont be so semangat in something tt ppl wants u to become president!
soccer been sucky so far cause i've not been playing..
its okay.. stay strong and i shall be number 1 again..
player's attitude been sucky..
step superstar u know..
they think they're the best..
and so i think the team should be equal shouldnt it? hmm..
i suck at controlling people..
so someone please replace me..?

hmm so been msging her lately...
seems like now people know that we're real close friends..
so what if ppl know.. good la they know... kudos to them..
nth gonna change anything yo.. hopefully change for the better ar..=)

klah, i'm feeling kinda tired and useless right now..restless too..
so i wanna do some core exercises and get myself FIT..
ciao... anything msg me aight! 92203439..
how nice of me to give my phone number.. haha... OUT..

***********
10:43:00 pm
***********

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

-> down... <-

hey hey...
miss me?
haha..
been busy laa lately..
work, sch, soccer..
no time for blogging..
and now here i am..!
ok lets update bout my common tests..

EM3A - 78..
DEL - 56..

what a bummer.. 56 of all marks..
78 for maths.. wat a miracle..
never had such high marks for maths..
always lacking behind for maths..
tutorial always hand up late..
haha..
I&E PROJECT SCREWED!!
how..? die la..
must think of PLAN B..
what are we gonna do that has got to do with the 5 Cs..?
COLLABORATION...
CREATIVITY..
CHARACTER..
CHALLANGE..
CONFIDENCE..

if u think of anything, tell me aight! thx in advance!

ok so enough of sch crap.. now to soccer
been winning lately..
against National U-18 we drew 3-3..
against SIM won 1-0 once and 3-0 just now..
didnt play against national and SIM..
so i am just fed up with myself..
what should i do to give him headache? hmmm
wednesday training will show the roughest me..
watch out guys..
ur legs are mine to sweep!
i'm just sooo fed up ler..
and kicked the only goal kick just now, my left knee gave way..
is it ligament tear?
i'm walking like a retarded person according to someone..heh...
reason being, i'm in a damn painful state..
i walk slow..
i cant bear walking too fast..

ok enough complaining..
i wanna go massage this knee of mine..
on this saturday, if there's nth on, i wanna go watch spirit of victim with u dear girl..!!
please please be free..

keh wanna sleep already.. gimme a tag aight if u read.. if nt i assume nobody read..
hee.. nitez!!

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12:17:00 am
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